Trial of the masses.

Statements from the witness:


Im sure many of us out there have felt the drudgery of feeling like they are but a small component in a massive machine, one whos ideals and ethos  revolve around compassion, empathy and charitable notions.

This is quite opposing to the moral obligations the individual can have towards their own integrity and of course upholding these ideas can be hard pressed at the best of times

I look around at the faces that surround me, each grasping sat some kind of notion in a vein attempt to pull themselves through life's hardships, held by a iron fist of financial fear, should it be the norm for every person to start the day with a happy outlet only to have it torn asunder by creatures fueled only by self gain and financial greed.

The only sensible answer to this is no , people should be able to live their life's without fear of monetary upheaval but yet it is this very fear that governs us all, finds us working the majority of hours that god sends as slaves to the grind.

Now i guess the reason i find myself spouting this talk of socialist empowerment is my current awareness of my own state of employment......


The above statements were conceived in a fit of passion and anger at the individuals current situation..... if i can present these statements to the jury to be overlooked or taken with a slight pinch of salt.

But non the less my honour you can behold this transparent rollercoater of emotion is one that remains prevelant in most if not all.

Guardian Law

So i wake to my flat mate singing little Wayne at the top of his voice missing every other lyric and i cant help but put this in contrast to the events of the weekend , loud , overstated obnoxious comments seem to pollute the waters of a clearest mind, an ideal angel has shown her face and i have aspersions cast in my mind, the most profound of connections are made between two people from quite opposite worlds, she: a pure soul, an unbound energy , the innocence of a child . Me: a cynic , a doubter and far from innocence, yet somehow these two worlds collide and create a limbo of understanding .
  This weekend has been one of life changing proportions, i spoke to someone who i have held dear in my heart since his departure, i never knew this man yet he granted me with the gift to live , i never set eyes upon his person yet i know every part of him so vividly , i couldn't see him yet something told me he was there watching over me and this creature of ethereal proportions confirmed this to me, creating a channel between him and me.
I never knew you before but now i know you are there you feel akin to an appendage , i simply cannot live without you and  thank you for your guidance and support, also for confirming to me that this is not the end, there is life afterwards or something that makes this existence look pale in comparison.
You have given me the will to carry onward's , aware more than ever that i must succeed in my creative efforts for you brought this person to me , not just so i could hear your voice but so she could instill life into me , i am alive once more.


I love you dad and always will. To carry you with me forever. Rest in peace.

Inspiration to work

Art . My life should be about this thing. Change that, life should be about art.

A thousand pictures should be painted every minute , a thousand truths uttered in  every breath

If we do not push forwards , find a drive to create then we may as well curl up in a ball and find the easiest way out.

I find it hard to imagine the thought process of some people , what level of complacency must exist within their lives , it is as though nothing exists there anymore , no innate desire for expression, no closed flower waiting to bloom.

We all have such immense potential lying dormant inside us in embryonic states but  some choose to address it whilst others ignore its allure . We must all engage in these acts of volition for if we don't then our purpose here on earth our true potential is ignored .
I have been concerning myself with the spiritual sides of life since these happenings took place i feel  attuned more now then ever towards the unsaid , the less visible side to existence, the cosmos can speak to me now and i will try and listen .

Thank you for all those people that touched my life in the last week , the marks you have left are delicate and oh so  permanent. I feel tremendous amounts of love for you all.

Soul doodle

Having a level of rest bite has helped to start the integration back into the throws of life, the chaos nestled itself quickly into my daily routine , i found myself being sent home from work yesterday due to an emotional crash which i hope wont persist, i am hoping i can be strong enough to overcome but then a part of me never wants these tendrils of passion to lose their grip but on the other hand if i live with this much intense emotion on a daily basis then i may just explode and that would cause an awful mess.
One thing is for sure that i shall put every essence of spirit, every ounce of sinew , every living  breath into making this happen. The feelings that were awoken, that beast that stirred inside needs to not be ignored.
I must venture forth and ensure i write everyday , keep the creative side alive .
Writing does wonders for the soul  allowing the energy's inside you to leak out , just hearing your internal monologue works on a therapeutic level, sit still and talk aloud your darkest secrets and you will find it doesn't come with ease, now place a pen in your hand and paper before you, close your eyes , count to ten descend that ethereal stair case and begin to write from within i'm sure you will be surprised at what angels and demons jump forth from your psyche.

the hive. ( a poem of sorts )

I look and wonder at the world gone by

People chasing dreams on skies

We run around ridged in our birthday suits and cry cahoots for clothes that cause wonder

and cast a bemused look upon our new world order

Order makes sense if the preceding wasn't bent and twisted out of shape

I see animals in language and landmarks in wonders

I see the progress we have made and i look and ponder......

Have we really understood this at all?

Turbulent times lead to the crimes our glorious nation is facing

being held on trial to walk the green mile and we can all but

smile

because action and consequence finally make sense

we now see the turbulance in our magnificence

for we are all creatures great and small

some of us set to take a bigger fall than others.....

Possibly mothers and fathers can stake a claim

Raised their lavas  who's wings have spread and they sit bloated

regurgitating shit

Spreading disease with freedom and ease

not thinking about the hereafter

More content with self sustained laughter.

This isn't forever...

First morning back to the normal daily activities and it feels akin only to the dawning of the appocalypse.
But i must endure this in order to find a way out, utilize the vapid work space, create a 'soulular vacuum', see this for what it is, a practicality , you must eat,drink and have a safe place to sleep. Even now my reasoning sets itself apart from me , functioning as a separate entity. My reasoning - it looks at me - reassures me that there is a way out , the key to this door is perseverance , there are many who concern all there time with the mendacity of life and then at the end of the tracks when trying to address their soul, find themselves at a lose for it has already been buried , its very essence forming the foundations to the monument of dishonesty that is their existence.
I will not fall prey to this. I am looking forward using this as a starting block to push on through, to try and outrun the devil , or at least catch up with him.

The end of rapture

Now i find my self on my way back home , landscapes and emotions both travelling at thousands of miles an hour.

The audience entered quite sheepishly ending up huddled near the entrance not heading out into the space until instructed to do so, as if scared to tread foot into our church, our holy place fearing to  break the sacrament of person and spirit.

  Gifts of the spirit played out perfectly, rapture and reverence filled the performance space. As a performer i was only vaguely aware of the audiences presence , i found my self scribbling frantic incantations that can only be likened to whispering s  from the lips  of madmen or ancient priests as part of ritualistic worship. Something was definitely being awoken or invoked in this place. We were not alone .

to be continued........


Continued.......


Throughout the rehearsal process we underwent your average notions of spacing the performance into small intervals of writing punctuated with instructions taken from readings spoken by Ron. These Readings came from his memoirs 'Gifts of the spirit' and we grew somewhat accustomed with the time spacing of the piece , we took the cue to write from the speaker commanding us to at the end of each speech segment.
Now as the happenings took place this most certainly wasn't the case i for one become completely unaware of the speech segments and if i were aware it was on a very metaphysical level for prolific writings poured forth from our pens, i can remember no instruction to write , i remember no music cues , i only have a vague recollection of the audience that surrounded me ( and that's primarily due to  the heavy documentation of the piece, what with cameras being thrust into my face at various points) we were taken by whatever we had invoked, a group possession, a mass exorcism of personal demons and a happening to be held aloft in the higher echelons of history and performance .
When the chanting stopped and the performance ended we all awoke from our internal state, snapped back form our daydreams by a crescendo of clapping hands , the performance was over , but surely this was not the end for it felt like only  ten minutes had passed , no this was not the case for an hour of incantations had taken place , a whole hour had passed seemingly unnoticed by audience and performer alike.
It was at this point that the most beautiful and magical of moments occurred , Ron stepped forward and as though being commanded by transparent strings we all drew near to him and one another and just wept and embraced each and every person present (including some audience members) .
This was over for tonight, we had not just performed but ultimately shifted something inside of us , the metamorphosis was complete, bestowed by gifts of some spirit we ventured forth into the night safe in the knowledge that what we concieved would walk forward into this world and grow a life of its own.
My love and thoughts still go with fellow performers, some i can still feel  talking inside my head.